Carolina Matthews

During my studies to become a psychologist I used to hear a lot that ‘I am my own instrument’, meaning that our mind and our body are the tools we use in the practice. I have transferred that understanding with me when I became a teacher, and I have always seen myself as a whole person when teaching. Nevertheless, there are some aspects of my life I have explored very little, but which are actually important influences on the way I think and act as a person as well as a professional.

the political aspect

For years I have been saying ‘I do not understand nor do I care about politics’, and that worked just fine until now. I recently began to actually look at my hesitation and try to elaborate on the reasons, the background, the contingencies which might have led me to think and feel uninterested or discouraged, and its meaning today in my actions and reflections as a teacher. In the United States I hear often about the importance of advocating for Early Childhood, and I worried because the idea of getting involved in politics has always given me the creeps. However, during a class in the MAT program at George Fox, I suddenly understood what it actually meant to be a politicized teacher, I realized I agree with this idea, and I notice now that everything related to education that I experience, read or hear falls into place differently because of that insight. My image of a teacher is changing – and so is my professional identity!

sexual identification

When I started to reflect on how I became this girlie girl who loves pink if my mother is a classic woman who does not care for any make up other than lipstick, and who wears mostly black, white and jeans, I realized I looked elsewhere for a model that I could relate to. I do not know for sure how these connections happen, but I do remember being highly intrigued with the discussion ‘nature x nurture’ in my college years. That haziness came back, as did the restlessness of something insanely fascinating. I began to ponder where our character comes from, since I was not that close to my grandmother, and I still looked at her for modeling – meaning I kind of had it IN ME and looked around me to find my identification. This is one of those fundamental ideas that apparently does not affect teaching, but if we look closely it makes all the difference in how the teacher perceives the student as a human being: is the student someone who repeats family and cultural patterns, or is the student a human being who makes his own choices and who looks for stimuli that resound with his/her own music? This is definitely an area I will always look to explore in discussions with others, as well as in readings.

excitement of questioning

More than answers, I think once again studying is bringing me questions and the excitement of exchanging ideas with others. This is what I believe thinking critically means: being always open to rediscover, to review and to turn ideas around according to new lights shed over old paradigms.

Like a graffiti I once saw stated:

“Our head is round to allow thought to change direction”.