Becoming a mom
Intentions and reality
When I first got pregnant, I thought I was going to blog every step of the way. I was excited, thrilled, nervous, and I thought it was an experience worth processing through writing, as I often do with powerful experiences in my life.
It so happened that life became incredibly busy. First, I got a new position as a classroom teacher, which posed a series of challenges as I adapted to what it meant to have two groups of 25 students every day and the responsibility that comes with the job. With the new position being in a different school, my commute went from 45 minutes to 1 hour each way, then, because of that and other factors, we decided to move closer to my work, out of the big city and into a smaller country town, which required of us time to search for a home that would accommodate our new needs. Once we settled, the baby-related stuff began to pile up: appointments, classes, shower lists, nursery preparation…
Becoming a mom
Turns out I have lived these 9 months with all the ups and downs of being pregnant, but not having much time to sort through it in writing. It would have been worth it, as I now cannot remember clearly the details of the powerful experiences I had. I really wish I could. They are part of the mom I am becoming, as well as the wife and teacher and everything else I am turning into.
Yesterday, talking to my mom, she said one of her wise sentences: “You do not become a mother when you give birth. You become a mother the moment you embrace growing that little baby inside your body.” That is SO true! The shared experience, all the changes, the foreign stuff that we feel, the laugh surges and the tear ones, the pulling of ligaments and the growing belly… Such an intense relationship developing! Such a marvelous one, too!
One of the most amazing things I have realized was that being pregnant is not always comfortable, but being excited enough about it made me focus on the reasons for the discomfort and led me to embrace it as part of our development – mine and the baby’s – rather than keep my attention on my own body and self.
After living through it, and after all the classes and the conversations I hope giving birth will also allow me to focus on the process and on my little boy coming to share the outside world with us rather than what it will make my body feel.